Thursday, December 27, 2012

Good Choices

With Christmas over I've started to mull through the past year of 2012 and think about the upcoming year 2013. Instead of multiple resolutions stating what I will and will not do I've decided to simply focus on Good Choices.

What do I mean by Good Choices?

I mean, stopping before acting, taking a deep breath, and asking myself: Is this action I am about to take a Good Choice? And then letting myself do whatever the hell I want. I don't intend to be prohibitive or judgmental with this question I simply intend to create awareness. And in so doing, perhaps, if I am lucky, make more Good Choices.

Of course there is the ambiguous and the unknowable -- so I won't always be able to answer these questions for myself. But there is also the obvious:

Eat the entire bag of potato chips? Good Choice or Bad? For me the answer is Bad. Not so much for my ever-disappearing waistline, but because I know myself well enough to know that if I am about to devour an entire bag of potato chips I am either wildly bored, incredibly tired, or emotionally overwrought (see evidence of nearly empty potato chip bag and mother staying in 1,000 square foot 2 bedroom apartment w/me and hubs and 2 kids for 2 weeks.)

Surf the internet for 4 hours? Good Choice or Bad? For me it is usually Bad. The internet allows me to numb-out and to escape whatever it is I wish to escape (see paragraph 5, lines 4 & 5). The internet is something I use to avoid writing which leads me to....

Avoiding my writing? Good Choice of Bad? Depends on if I am avoiding and why. If I am researching (I mean really researching not the web-surfing bullshit I do some days that I label as research) or say if Daniel Craig invited me to his yacht then these would be excellent reasons to miss a writing day--or at least passable reasons. And I might even say not writing for a day in exchange for sitting with Daniel Craig on his yacht (assuming he has a yacht) would be a Good Choice. But Daniel Craig aside--usually choosing not to write on any day is a Bad Choice for me. A mean-spirited torturous self-inflicting-wound type choice--one that I pretend is not happening--much like my childhood.

I digress. Or snipe. Or snark. (Again, please see paragraph 5, lines 4 & 5.)

Regardless as I approach the end of 2012 and the beginning of 2013 I've already begun to employ my Good Choice or Bad Choice paradigm. Example: my mother's been here, with me, in my 1,000 square foot apartment with my husband and my children for nearly eight days and the woman is still alive.



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