Monday, March 19, 2012

Does My Preggo Belly Turn You On?

by Malena Lott

Right up front, let me say I'm talking about my character's baby bump, not mine. I have three kids that feels more like thirty some days and the hubenaro got the snip-snip to ensure we don't have baby thirty-one.

But Taylor Montgomery, the protag in my first-becometh-fourth novel is preggers and she's sure that romance - and the sexy sex life she and her husband have - will go out the window with it. What is sexy sex? You know - MOVIE SEX variety- ask Hollywood Maggie and she'll give you the lowdown.

But what happens to all that hot sex when you get knocked up? Taylor and Jake had never planned on having kids, and who knows, they may have been frisky DINKS (Double Income No Kids) way into their silver fox period. Of course, she's most worried about how the surprise commitment will upturn their lives.

In a slice from the girls' night in scene, Taylor's girlfriends share what they think is romantic:

Gretchen dished out brisket on plates. “Fine. I’m sure all of your men are perfect, with your tantric sex and your surprise trips to Hawaii and London and all. Maybe someday I’ll get that lucky.”

“Hey, there’s a big difference between perfect and sucks,” Jackie said. “These days Mark taking out poopy diapers is romantic.”

“Taking thirty minutes away from watching baseball to help me fold laundry,” Kelly added, fluttering her eyelashes.

“Taking Max to the park while I take a nap,” Jackie added. “I hadn’t loved him so much in months. Basically, enjoy the sex while you can,” she said in Gretchen and Kelly’s direction. “Once you get married and have kids, sex becomes more obligatory. It’s guilt sex. Thinking, has it really been a month since we’ve made love? I sure as hell don’t feel like it, but I know Mark wants it every day. Why should he have to sacrifice because I’m not feeling frisky?”

Just because we're exhausted from our personal human garden doesn't mean our other half want to give it up, even in the most mundane situations, like crawling around the house to search for safety hazards:

“This feels pretty good on all fours though,” I said. “She’s like a little hammock under me. No pressure.”

“I think that will be our new position,” he said, sidling up behind me.

“How can you even think about sex when we’re doing this?”

“When do I not? I’m a guy.”

Wishing you lots of spring romance!

About the Book:

What to expect when you’re expecting? For a career-driven couple that didn’t plan on having children, it’s a nine-month roller coaster ride.

Creative director Taylor Montgomery gets the surprise of her life when she finds out she’s pregnant the same day her best friend, Hilarie, finds out she’s not. Taylor never wanted to be a mom, but it’s all Hilarie has dreamed about. The Stork Reality: Secrets from the Underbelly updates the original novel about the journey to motherhood and how pregnancy changes marriage, work, and even close friendships. The Stork Reality: Secrets from the Underbelly is the Second Edition of Lott's first novel, now in trade paperback and the first time as an ebook.

Malena Lott is a married mom-of-three in the Midwest. She's a brand strategist, the executive editor at Buzz Books USA and the author of three novels. She's celebrating motherhood at where 40 guest mamas are blogging about pregnancy and motherhood. Her author site is


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, I LOVE this premise! "I'm a guy." Explains so much, doesn't it?!?

March 20, 2012 at 11:37 AM  
Blogger Jennifer Probst said...

This sounds like an unbelievable book! So funny and entertaining - must buy!

March 20, 2012 at 6:22 PM  
Blogger Maggie Marr said...

Thank you for blogging! I love the cover and I love the excerpts! So so so funny! xoMaggie

March 20, 2012 at 9:05 PM  

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