Kick Me In The A** Before You Throw Me Down The Stairs

Ah yes, the Universe it can be kind--with flowers--(I prefer daisies) and puppies and rainbows but it can also be a rabid bitch with blood shot eyes and a two-day hangover. And lately--well lately--I am really unsure which one I am going to wake up to in the morning.

Today? Today I feel like I've been kicked in the balls--you know--if I had balls. Today the Universe has served up a heaping helping of 'the unexpected' and not the 'Oh My God I Won The Lottery!' kind of unexpected but the
'What the hell did I just step in?' unexpected.

And whatever I just stepped in? Well it smells pretty f*&kin' bad.

Oy.