Television pitch season approaches...fast. The German and The Big Russian called just the other day to check in with me about my pitch.
"Pitch?" I asked.
"Yes, your pitch," the Big Russian said in his Big Russian voice. "For television. How's it going?"
*Long awkward pause.*
"Okay?" I warbled.
"You'll come into the office when you're ready with your pitch, so we can hear it."
"What are you thinking about doing this year?"
"You know, I think I hear...Oh yeah, the baby is crying...gotta go!"
And my escape was made. Why? Because I am just not ready to share the specifics...yet.
I *know* what I'm doing...when I say *know*, I mean that I know the milieu (I really wanted to use that word) and I even have my lead character. I am fairly confident I have her family and friends too. I even know what her primary conflict is. This idea steeped in my head for a couple years, but the past couple seasons other ideas jumped over this one to get my primary attention. Finally the time is right for this idea and I have concrete details.
Why my reticence? My hesitation? It is the same for all writers, painters, photographers, poets, (insert creative endeavor here) is it not? You spend hours, days, months...even years developing something; painting, novel, screenplay, photograph and you've reached the point where it's time to share your creation and what happens?
Well for me, an overwhelming wave of self-doubt happens. At least for a moment. A flood of 'this isn't good enough' or 'I'm not showing this to anyone'. I'm told most of humanity shares these feelings with the stories, sculptures, presentations, (pick your poison) that they create. The act of sharing your creation is equivalent to marching naked through the street. Often times your most private thoughts, hopes, fears and dreams are masked in the costume of words, paint, clay and then presented to the world's critical eyes.
To create and then share your creation is an act of sheer courage. So while I ran the other day, I won't be running much longer.
Yes, it is nearly time to pitch.